Search and rescue teams are working at a furious pace to rescue the people stuck in the flooding caused by Hurricane Irene. We here at ByrddogNews applaud their valiant efforts and wish them luck in their rescue attempts. We certainly know that they would rater be home with their families.
We would also like to wish the poor souls trapped in the waters a safe return from the water. As the rescue teams work tirelessly to safe them, we hope that they were trapped performing absolutely imperative tasks such as swimming, surfing, and skateboarding: noble pursuits that any person would risk life and limb to pursue. We know for a fact that the rescue workers are more than happy to leave their family at home to rescue such noble and brave thrill-seekers. This reporter, for instance, is more than happy to pay out her college fund in order to fund these rescue attempts. Yes, the money was needed to pay for college, but I believe that the safety of these prime examples of Darwinism is far more important.
And as to the allegations that "these dumbasses deserve to be left out there for doing such stupid shit in the middle of a hurricane," I say shame on you all! The art of thrill-seeking has been a noble and just pursuit ever since Biblical times, when brave souls played dodgeball at Sodom and Gomorrah. Anyone who believes that such noble and brave souls should not be rewarded for their efforts by tax-funded rescues is not only wrong, they're a communist.
And that's the weather today.
No comments:
Post a Comment